That bird you’re flying
While driving your car,
Sure ain’t gonna get ya
Riding my ass like you’re on sent.
What a waste of time
On sitting there raging
a burning fire,
For an early bird desire.
Ya ever think those two seconds lost,
Maybe two seconds
Your life could have cost?
Just imagine what might be saved,
A time for life or
A lifetime of road rage.
Oh that road rage! Most of us have been victim as well as guilty in some form! I can certainly not plead innocent to expressing my anger while driving. Although my chosen format is the typical words of unpleasantries uttered under my breath … Sometimes loudly… While seated in the security of my large SUV (windows closed of course)…To the person driving my irritation. Do I really think they can hear me as I say loudly- “oh, come….really #@*” to the car in front of me, plodding along like a Sunday driver. Wait, maybe I am just mad at the car, not the driver. We forget that there is an actual person behind that wheel and that most drivers who cause our rage don’t mean us any harm and probably don’t realize that they are screwing up the day by making us late. The exceptions are those who are texting while driving or in la la land while talking on the phone… How rude. Any how, this leads me to the one road rage experience that prompted me to write this poem. The story goes as follows:
I was driving home moving along at about 2 miles per hour over the speed limit when I notice a large brown Chevy something or other closing in on the tail of my SUV. What is he doing, I wondered as I watched him from my rear view mirror? And boy is he in a hurry! Knowing what it is like to be panicked about time, I pushed my foot to the peddle to bring my speed up to the excepted 5 to 7 miles over the limit- that should satisfy speed racer behind me! I felt very proud of myself for being such a team player! With a smile on my face, I checked my rear view mirror again, expecting a thank you wave or a smile in acknowlogment of the favor I had given to my fellow driver. To my disbelief, instead of a thumbs up, the man was flipping the middle finger, flying the bird and mouthing every word of profanity in the English language!!! I was in shock! I was confused , bewildered….what did I do wrong???? For the next three miles the driver’s behavior towards me continued! He never attempted to pass me although the double yellow line may have had something to do with that. When finally we came to a stop light, I put my car in park. I just had to find out, why… Oh why was I victim to such rage??? What did I do to deserve this abuse??? I opened my car door and hurriedly jumped out and trotted to the driver side of the rumbling car behind mine. As I approached , the window slowly came down and shouts of every kind spewed out until the full force of the shouting and of my BIG mistake hit me. Before I could process what was going on, the man/ driver conjured up from the deaths of his throat , a large green hocker…spit it out the widow in an arch and it landed squarely on my feet. adrenalin kicked in. I ran back to my car, put it in drive, turned right and he thankfully turned left. Moral of the story… You can guess! Don’t ever get out of your car to confront road rage!!!
illustration: I created this illustration of the bird standing on a car wheel in Adobe Photoshop.